I was perusing Grmpy_Mnky's post yesterday and I read this:
Quote:
Look, I will be happy and forever grateful if we get another shot at our M. If we don't, I will still be happy and grateful for the time we had.
And this got me thinking. I love GM's statement, but I needed one with a twist so I'm working on my own. I think it's in line with the advice to LBS's that they need to know they're going to be fine whether the M is R or not. I'm thinking something like...
- I'm going to be happy. Not because of you, but in spite of you. - I'm going to be happy, and I'm not going to let you be responsible for that in any way. - My personal happiness can't be dependent upon a healthy M, so I need to spend my time/energy on me instead of our M.
I could use help with this. These aren't smooth. It's going to become my mantra. I think I like the second one best. I was already on this course yesterday after reading GM's post, then H kicked it in gear for me last night. I asked him for a clarification on something he said this weekend, and he immediately got angry and told me I focus too much on the M, that I'm making it my idol. And I thought, "maybe so..."
So I want to reach a point where it just doesn't matter. If H walked in looking like Brad Pitt, was romantic like Valentino, got a promotion at work and made $1M/year, etc. or walked in and handed me D papers, I want to be completely unaffected either way. That is my mission. I want to be soooo independently happy/living that what my H does or doesn't do makes absolutely no difference to my life.
Meanwhile, I'm going to go take my dog for a long walk in this beautiful weather, because that makes me very happy (and him, too.)
