OMG I cant believe she is gone

[leopoldstotch]

H2H what Truegritter is asking you to do is is to take a long hard LOOK at YOURSELF. You cannot control your W actions. It's clear that you want to stand for your M and that's great but what good is it going to do YOU to not sign the D papers IF she has you served? All you will be doing is making it a long drawn out process and getting a D doesn't necessisarily mean that you will never have a R with your W ever again.

As far as Truegritter's ugly comment goes I believe that he is referring to the way you are handling your sitch right now. You are saying that you think it's BS that your W thinks that you talking to another woman is cheating. Those are your W's feelings and you cannot tell her that her feelings are wrong. Anytime you talk with her and she brings that up all you can do is validate her feelings and tell her that you were wrong.

You also said that your W has said that you cannot have an adult conversation. Since we don't what you are saying to her in those conversations the advice I can give you is this, if you are not ready to discuss a D right now you should tell her. An example might be this, W: Are you going to sign the papers or make this difficult? H2H: Right now I'm not ready to have this discussion when I am ready I will let you know.

I would be willing to bet that right now you are acting out fear,anger and frustration and that is the wrong way to handle the sitch. You need to choose your words very carefully when you speak to her. If she says something that you don't like don't let your emotions take over pause for a minute before you speak so you don't speak out of anger.

Please take another look at what Truegritter has asked you and begin working on yourself that is first and foremost. I also suggest that you search out bustorama's threads and read them. He successfully busted his D but he really made changes to himself. His threads are probably some of the best on the board and full of advice. I'll be checking in on you to see how you are making out.