Accuray I'm currently doing what you are doing with mirroring, and tit for tat. Even the part about not engaging in unproductive R talk. I'm also getting similar results to you. I think it's because like I had said before she is used to givin you 5 for your 10.
I think one of two things will happen, either she'll escalate affection on her own slowly, which will allow you to escalate with her, or she'll confront you for not returning a 10 for her 5.
If she reall thinks its an issue, and wants to talk about it, it's your chance to let her know that you too feel like you are not getting enoug, and want to work to make sure both your needs get met.
Just be aware she may just say she'd rather get divorced than give more than 5. Well if it gets to then IMHO it's decision time for you accept an unequal affection exchange arrangement or move on.
Btw did you see the MMSL blog today? The story in the entry shares a lot of similarities with yours.
