I'm sure if I started to push the issue with the D, my W would go along with it. I haven't needed it to move forward with my life and make my life better. I have been able to do a lot of things I thought I'd never do. I've made new friends. My life outside of my M is great. I am happier than I've been for a long time.
However, I have to deal with that craving for a relationship from time to time. I think I am just waiting for the dust to settle from this one right now. I am not going to react on how I feel at the moment.
I'm sure some of this is backlash for my recent actions. I went to Belize, she didn't. I've showcased the new JB among her long time friends and family over the last week. She is seeing me be happy and social with others. She sees where my life is going and I believe she may feel she has a point to prove.
I think I'm rebounding from the latest disaster. My W has my S tonight. I was all revved today thinking about when my W would be picking my S up tonight.
As usual, she didn't notify me when she was coming to pick him up. I ended up calling her. The call lasted exactly 38 seconds. It was very cold and businesslike. Perhaps even more so on my end. She said her ETA was 7:30. I didn't want to be any later to Men's group at church tonight than I already was, so I went ahead and left. I was considering sticking around to be sure I enforced boundaries. However, I think the Lord knew I needed a little space tonight.
It was a great Men's group meeting, par for the course. I know I'm very blessed to have such a wide support group through all of this mess, both here on this MB and outside the MB.
This weekend to GAL, I am taking off work tomorrow to chaperone an overnight 5th and 6th grade conference in NKY with the Student Ministries at my church. Sunday evening we have a Belize afterparty.
It was a busy weekend GAL'ing, and it did a magnificent job of taking my mind of my situation. There were times it was the furthest thing from my mind. That's a wonderful thing sometimes.
Friday I got a 26 mile bike ride in and smuggled in lunch for my S at school. No, it wasn't Chipotle this time. It was Skyline Chili. I surprised him - I think he liked it pretty well. After school we met up with the other 5th and 6th graders at church and headed to the conference. It was a 2 day conference and we spent the night. I had 3 boys in my hotel room. Yeah, we got lots of sleep The conference was geared toward 5th and 6th graders, but I got a lot out of it myself. It was a great conference!
After I got home, I thought I'd better not stop, so I went out for a 3 mile run. My S and I spent some time together in the evening just chillin' playing some Wii.
Sunday was church and it was a good service. Sunday evening we had a Belize after-party. It was really nice re-connecting with everyone I went on the trip with. I really enjoyed it.
I haven't talked to my W since our 38 second conversation last Thursday. I may see her tomorrow evening when she comes to pick up my S. Unfortunately, I need to talk to her about a couple of things - taxes and adjusting the schedule for my S during spring break. Can anyone tell I really don't want to talk to her right now? At this point after the latest events, she is very unattractive to me. Frankly, I still ticked at her. I just feel like we're going down separate paths right now, and I like mine a lot better! Ugh!
jb - I know exactly how you feel. I think as time goes on, you will feel more and more of that. Just like in my case, it appears that we are the only side taking the high road and becoming better people. It takes two to make R possible.
Keep on keepin' on sir!
BTW, I really miss "real" Skyline. I can buy it in cans from Kroger out here, but its still not like eating in an actual Skyline restaurant.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
NTX, thanks for stopping in. I hope you are doing well.
Originally Posted By: NTX_Dad
Just like in my case, it appears that we are the only side taking the high road and becoming better people.
I believe, and I'm sure you believe it's the right thing to do. As far as I'm concerned, I am doing it because it's who I am. I could easily fall into the trap of doing the wrong thing or catching the bitter bus. I have chosen the high road and my W has chosen otherwise. I know I will be able to look back without regrets. As for my W - well that remains to be seen. I'm giving her ample opportunity to right the ship. It's her choice on if she wants to take advantage of it.
Originally Posted By: NTX_Dad
BTW, I really miss "real" Skyline. I can buy it in cans from Kroger out here, but its still not like eating in an actual Skyline restaurant.
Very true. At least you can appropriately go to Kroger for it. Do they sell Graeter's Ice Cream, too?
So I haven't talked to my W since our 38 second conversation last Thursday. She broke the silence this morning asking me if our S has talked to me about playing baseball. Sounds like it may be a temperature check to me. I've been sitting on this one for a couple hours now. I will respond, because it's about my S. But I still find myself pretty ticked at her for her actions last week and I'm appalled by her attitude. I have to keep myself in check, though. What I am seeing is not necessarily reality. I think part of what she is doing is in response to me showing off the new JB to her friends and family.
JB time to detach. Dont let her actions affect your mood and PMA. You have come a long way. Continue to show her the new you and let her wonder. Hang in there
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Hey JB, I'm with rick, bring yourself back to where you were. Maybe her latest actions have you a little more ticked because you came back from belize on such a high and the incident bothered you more than it would have if you had not escaped from the bubble for a period of time.
You will right yourself, of that I have no doubt!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Rick, you're right. I was letting her actions get to me a bit.
I ended up responding to her text. We ended up having a series of text exchanges. All business, but reasonably friendly. We were able to cover baseball for my S, me wanting to take my S to Chicago on spring break, taxes, and boy scouts for my S. It was a pleasant enough exchange to the point where it diffused some of my anger. I am not nearly as ticked. It's almost like she DB'd me while I was trying to villify her into not wanting her back at all or ever.
As a side note. My S doesn't want to do scouts anymore, but we are making him finish the school year in scouts. I gave him a 5K challenge last night. If he can complete a 5K before the end of April, I will let him off the hook for scouts a month early. He has to run the whole thing. He's ready to start training.
gunny, thanks for stopping in. I think you may be on to something. I'm a little better this afternoon. I did have to get mad in order to be driven to enforce some boundaries, although it just kind of happened that way. I think I need to feel that anger from time to time, especially when she does something so inappropriate.
Perhaps even more so on my end. She said her ETA was 7:30. I didn't want to be any later to Men's group at church tonight than I already was, so I went ahead and left. I was considering sticking around to be sure I enforced boundaries. However, I think the Lord knew I needed a little space tonight.
Sunday evening we have a Belize afterparty. 
The conference was geared toward 5th and 6th graders, but I got a lot out of it myself. It was a great conference! 
At this point after the latest events, she is very unattractive to me. Frankly, I still ticked at her. 
Do they sell Graeter's Ice Cream, too?