Well the fert appointment went pretty well. Walking back into that office really conjured up some old ghosts....good and bad. However, we always had a good, honest relationship with the doctor and the staff. We hugged our old nurse like she was family.
I think we kind of know what we would LIKE to do - but there are clearly some obstacles and challenges we need to get out of the way before anything truly happens.
Walking out of the clinic, my w gave me a really long hug. First one in 6 months. I really didn't know what to do or say. I mean, yeah, I hugged her back - but I felt like a nervous 17 year old kid still.
W had an appointment later in the day, but we met up for dinner to exchange s. We had a really good talk. She basically said what a lot of the WAWs and WAW experts here said she would say. She is scared that things will go back to the way that they were. I told her that I understood why she felt that way, and it was justifiable. She also said she felt we never truly had that "honeymoon" phase. She may be right - but I told her it wasn't for lack of feelings - it was more along the lines of me not being able to confidently express those feelings.
We did not talk about the D, L's or anything. But she does know that I want a family, not just babies. I think if we can keep working on things in a positive manner we might be OK. I have IC with our MC tomorrow - she has it Wednesday.
Come to find out that her "appointment" this afternoon was with a counselor that she has been seeing on her own. I had no idea. I guess she had been sharing her fears of falling back into old patterns with me again - I have no idea what the counselor told her but it must have helped.
