With him, no news there. I don't feel raped, simply deeply devalued. Also, no news there.
And CV is still allowing it. No news there either.
CV I am not trying to pile on here.
It sounds to me that the martyr role feels very comfortable for you.
I think what my friends are trying to say to you is that nothing will be NEW unless you decide to make different choices about how you will allow yourself to be treated.
I see the victim stance from you.
The question is why? Why are you comfortable playing that role? Your H only knows you as THAT woman.
How will he learn differently?
How can you have a different life expereince than what you have endured so far?
Do you respect the woman you see in the mirror? It is not up to your H to value you? He either will or he won't.
It is up to you to value yourself and not let it fall into the hands of your inconsiderate spouse.
You ARE responsible for how you allow him to treat you.
You are only a victim once. After that you are a volunteer.
BOUNDARIES.
Will protect you and teach him what you allow. The most of extreme consequence of breaking them might be he no longer gets the privilege to be in YOUR life.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
