"I do worry though that maybe it pushes too hard,"
Hmmm. I would say that you W threatening to leave with the children to another state is a pretty hard push.
"Since I'm fighting that, then I'm controlling her, trapping her."
Again. Forget about her. She's controlling you and trapping YOU. Tell her that you haven't stopped her from doing anything and she's more than welcome to leave. However, you have your rights as a parent and am just protecting whats YOURS. Put your foot down on this.
"And is it possible that my goals for the marriage may not be the best for the kids (or vice versa) and might have to make that decision?"
Again...forget about the M. Your children need you in their lives. Concentrate on that. Protect your brood.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
