I spent a lot of my previous M denying being critical, though I was hypercritical. Really, if someone thinks you are being critical, odds are extremely high that you are. So, you can deflect my "dart" comment, but you haven't dissuaded me. But, it is really OK. The only reason I mention it is because the more you recognize this in yourself, the better your life will become.
Anyway, my point in asking about what YOU learned is that, contrary to the message that you might be receiving from others, the important thing is NOT that your exercise might have made H happy, though that is a nice consequence.
What IS the most important thing in my book is that you made a change that benefits YOU. IF you make such changes consistently, your life will be better, no matter what happens with your personal relationships.
-- Give people more space to shine, more space to love you.
-- Give people space to be generous and thoughtful, more space to help.
-- Give yourself more chances to appreciate generosity from others, more chances to appreciate what they freely choose rather than what you request or demand.
-- Accept imperfection more in yourself and others, take joy in who you are, sincerely approve of yourself because of your accomplishments. Take pity on those who said you always fall short, they must have been coming from a very sad place.
-- What MATTERS is that you let go a little bit, let go of a little bit of control, of a little bit of your need for perfection, and I bet it FELT a lot better.
