Thanks MrB. Yes, I have a lawyer. And I am certainly trying to stay focused in the direction you suggest. I do worry though that maybe it pushes too hard, hard enough that no matter what the M will never come back in some new way. But I don't know, so that's why I ask the question.
The custody thing is obviously a big deal. (and just finished a two hour conversation/fight on that and a host of other topics. A lot of venting on her part about what i did or didn't do the last 17 years). She says she feels trapped because of it. She doesn't want to leave her kids to move if she's not taking them with her. Since I'm fighting that, then I'm controlling her, trapping her. It doesn't seem to occur to her that my feelings are exactly the same in terms of not wanting to be away from the kids. So what is best for them? And is it possible that my goals for the marriage may not be the best for the kids (or vice versa) and might have to make that decision?
