I agree that it would not be a good thing to jerk the kids around. No need for it.
But, you persist in maximizing contact, and keeping the space between you as little as possible.
You, as a person, need your own space, you need to consciously choose your own boundaries here and enforce them. W pulling the 911 stunt was inexcusable. A voicemail, text, or email would have easily relayed the relevant info. Perhaps you should stop all voice calls for awhile so you can better manage yourself.
As for any weekends this summer, there's no reason to make up stuff. Simply say, "sorry, that doesn't work for me." As for her oversharing her dating life with you, simply ask her to stop: "W, really, please stop with the oversharing. It is really inappropriate. If you are introducing someone into S's life, then please let me know. But, if it doesn't concern the kids, I'm not your man."
Do you remember a few months ago when you were talking about being a strong leader? You need to be a strong leader in your own life. Right now, you are pushed this way and that, you bend this way and the other. You need your own form. Right now you are merely that which is left after W shapes you. Where are YOU??
"And, FWIW, I think it is insane to have W on your FB page. She is not your friend, not your lover, and effectively not your W. Why would you want that intrusion? (And it is BS if you say you don't think about what W will think about your posts.)"
