Not DBing...just needed to journal my feelings

[Accuray]

Brian, you've been here longer than me. Your registered date is when my W's EA was in full swing and I had yet to discover it, so I feel a bit like a newbie giving advice to a veteran.

I read a book that talked about the fact that as children, we are all "abused" in some way, in that no parents are perfect.

Whatever that "abuse" is, we learn to cope with it, construct defenses around it, and it becomes our comfortable place.

We're attracted to people who make us feel comfortable, or abuse us in the ways we are accustomed to being abused. That's why our relationship patterns tend to repeat.

I'm not there to look at this woman's "big brown eyes" or appreciate how good she smells, but if she's cheating and lying, then she's not valuing you the way you need to be valued for this to be a good relationship longer term. She has to "want you more", and she has to fear losing you.

If you stop pursuing her, and convince yourself to treat her as a friend, maybe she'll come back and maybe she won't. If she doesn't, good riddance. If she does, be hard to get. You can do it.

Get out on your new ski boat and enjoy yourself! You're dating. You agreed to be exclusive, but then she wasn't. I would say your exclusive agreement is out the window, so do some casual dating yourself!

Is it the woman you were attracted to, or the "feeling of being in a relationship" that the woman was delivering. Those can be hard to separate. You don't want someone who is "just good enough", you want someone who is great.

--Accuray