I have read your posts, and I am proud of you for hanging in there. Have you ever examined what brings this situation with your W back to you feeling more anxious than better. Sounds like you take a step forward and it works and then it comes back to an earlier phase. She maybe picking up on your enthusiasm and it makes her nervous.
I don't have any wise words as I am new to my own sitch. I have yet to see the results of any 180s. I may resort to an unconventional LRT at the recommendation of someone who has been in my shoes more than once in her life. She is not exactly a parent but has known me as a mother. I trust her guidance.
Good luck!
M: 39, H: 38 D: 4 Together: 19 Y Married: 9 Y Bomb #1: 11/04/11 (5 days b/f anniversary) Bomb #2 and H left: 01/03/12 (day b/f my bday) OW: confirmed, they live together already