Thank you, Val! There is a lot of really good stuff in your post, lots for me to think about.
I def think you're right about the controlling part- I am trying to free myself from the codependency I know I have. It is really easy to fall back into the same patterns, and I think in some aspects I'm doing ok to that end.
Overall I know I've come far enough to know I'm going to be ok no matter what. I made my peace with whatever outcome. That being said I am grateful for the reality check you gave me here, because you're right, I see the dynamic.
Its been difficult for me to walk that line- where there the codependency ends and the validating my partner's feelings begin. I think I got sukked back into the vortex some, despite my best efforts not to.
