The Livestrong website has a ton of good information on it. This particular bit of info. was posted on this board recently, and it's good stuff. I read it all...and so much of it is appliocable to folks in our situation. Here it is:

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/

Bottom line: If you are not able to detach emotionally or physically from a person, then you are gonna be profoundly under that person's control.

"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.