Looking back I have spent a lot of time trying to guess what my W really wanted. Like you every time I was having a blast we seemed to leave ahead of time. Passive Aggressive denying you what you want? My W lacks spontaneity and frowns on off the wall humour. Very controlled very strait laced. Always presenting a perfect picture to the world. Humour just sarcasm. All part of the pseudo self constructed to hide the inner child I think.
Quote:
[/quote]I don'SEE him work. But I know he is working.[quote]
In our case my W definitely suffers from a lack of object consistency I.e. Out of sight out of mind. Can't comprehend what the other person may be doing, thinking or feeling if they are out of sight. You only exist if present. You are either all good or all bad.
Like you I now see my whole marriage in a different light. I went into it expecting to enjoy the journey for someone else it was an end in itself.
