Informally separated from WAW, but DBing my best

[AlwaysTrying]

I did end up having that conversation with W Saturday and suggested that we talk to Laurie together to figure out what we can be doing differently to make her more comfortable. She said she still doesn't want to, and I didn't press.

Somehow, she ended up telling me that she didn't think there was anything that could be done, yadda yadda. I think if she's in a place where she doesn't feel she's getting enough space with our current arrangement, but she's unwilling to talk to someone to see how we can improve it... that she's afraid of something? Afraid she'll have to do something she doesn't want, or accept responsibility she doesn't want, or something? Fear that maybe if I know how to make her feel better, it might be harder to resist me? Fear that she'd have to tell me she has other plans for her future and doesn't want to be distracted by any potential improvement in our relationship.

I don't know. It means something. And I don't want to mind-read. W went to bed before I left the house on Saturday because I was hanging out late with D15. After D15 went to bed, I was sitting alone in my living room and finding it really hard to leave. I sat there for about an hour and a half. I want my home back.

I ended up writing W a letter. I've successfully avoided sending any email for two weeks and kept contact low in general, and kept things cool in face-to-face talk. I have a sense that writing her a letter is not what I'm supposed to be doing, because I'm past LRT time. She filed months ago, but has agreed to put things on hold while we try this separation out.