Stuck in Holding Pattern

[ben11]

Went out for lunch and coffee with W yesterday. Overall it went pretty smoothly. We caught up over lunch about whats going on in her life, mainly her new job. The convo was upbeat and enjoyable.

We then walked to a coffee shop nearby, where I told her I was planning to move out in the next month or so. In a roundabout way I asked her what she would like to do with some of her shared belongings. She expressed that she wants all the stuff she picked out for us, mainly the furniture. Coffee tables, nightstands, bedframe, etc. Although I dont agree that she deserves it all I didn't say anything. Didn't feel like fighting about it. I can always buy new stuff.

She said she's jealous that I get to move downtown and wishes she could. She's been going for years trying to get her career going and all her friends that slacked off are now doing better than her. I tried to stay upbeat and encourage her.

At some point during coffee she seemed a little annoyed. She said that she feels like she deserves credit for 'molding' me into the man I'm now becoming, the man she always envisioned I'd be. Now I'm ready for my next girlfriend. I didn't say much, but said that maybe she could be my next girlfriend. She seemed to appreciate that comment but who knows.

As for the MC, I did mention it to her. She said she wasn't sure if she wanted to go. She feels that during the MC, everything seems fine but then after she leaves, it just goes back to the same old feelings for her. She still really doesn't know what she wants from our R. She doesnt want to quit but doesn't want to move forward either. Her words.

Overall, it went pretty positively. I got a bit of R info from her without probing her too far. There were many times I bit my tongue when I wanted to ask her explicit questions like "Do you still love me?" or "Could you ever see us working this out?"

Anyway, back to GALing, 180s, etc. I like the person I'm becoming, and I don't want to lose momentum. Her new job starts in a week or two, and she'll have plenty more time to think about her life and what may, or may not, be missing. I'm getting to the point where I wish she could make a decision either way... this limboland I live in gets frustrating.