Husband has moved in with affair

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Let it die on its own...usually they do once the "honeymoon"

Warning: This can be a long time. However, it usually does seem to happen. From my observation, it takes about 2 years for things to start to get real, when they aren't reveling in their pretend freedom. BTW, there is an actual "love chemical" that sort of wears off over time and enables us to see people for who they are. You will not be able to do anything to make him see the light--at least that was my experience. Neither will anyone else. He just has to go through this on his own. I also foudn that X was very resentful of me for reasons I did not (and do not) understand. His spewing hurt me deeply and although I accept that I might never get it, one reason I continue to come here is a small hope that I might get an apology, or maybe a little recognition. I really can't count on that, though. But with that said, forgiveness is a difficult process and not a snap sort of thing.

But there was no reasoning with X. He did not come back, but did make some halfhearted gestures in that direction. I am worth more than halfhearted gestures. And so are you.

I know from my experience that you are in one of the hardest phases. Anything that you can do for yourself, however small, will be helpful. Get re-acquainted with YOU. I would also urge you to examine the R carefully once some of the initial pain has worn off. You may find that YOU were the one who was settling for halfheearted, lame involvement. And what I have done is ask myself Why? Why was I willing to settle for that?

I still feel some pain around X. I think that I always will. There were some good times. Sometimes I miss him. But when I do, I think of all the things I do NOT miss. I also find myself realizing that I deserved better all along.