Seeking, I'm w/Bea on your xh's behavior. He's very conflicted and isn't sure what to do. I don't understand why he would want his daughter to stand w/him at a funeral, but my first thought was to show the world that he's still involved w/his family, but I could be wrong about this. As for your daughter questioning his behavior, you did the right thing by telling her you don't know why he did it. Your daughter is a smart young lady and I bet she'll question him at some point.
I wouldn't say a word to him about his behavior. Sometimes, the less you say, the better. Maybe he was trying to get a reaction out of you and also, in his warped mind, to put you on notice that he's moving on and considers you a stranger. My money is on the fact that he thinks he's punishing you because he's not happy w/the settlement, he could very well be acting out, hoping to make you feel guilty and then you'll come to him and tell him to lower the payments, etc. He knows you so well and knows just what buttons to push to get you to bend to his way of thinking. Seeking, I wouldn't go to him and work on the paperwork to lower the support funds...leave it alone. If he wants to discuss the issue w/you, allow him to come to you. He's a big boy and knows how to take care of things. Also, he may think that you will jump through hopes to have him being friendly w/you. My advice, sit quietly and do not do anything at this time. It's his move and I would allow him to make that move.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
