C2H: You have not been divorced that long. It takes a much longer time to get past those awful feelings. I hate to tell you - but you are not anywhere near the 98% mark. But you will only know this down the road - when you look back.
You would have put more effort into a relationship that you knew was not right for you if you knew ex was dating someone else????
WTF????
That has to be one of the single dumbest things I have ever read on this bb.
That is not one bit about what is best for you. Or what is best for your family. It is totally about using another person as a drug to make you feel better. That is totally absurd!!!
It takes a long, long time to get past the emotional beating we all experienced when our spouses left. Even longer if our spouses cheated on us. But if you have learned ANYTHING here - it is that we heal ourselves first before we bring another person into the picture. I thought you learned that after making a couple of poor choices in the dating world. Which you were in no way ready for anyway. But to actually think about working harder (or wishing you had) on a R that would have been disastrous for you? How is that moving forward? Does that mean you'd rather have ANYBODY rather than be alone. And because you'd be keeping up with your ex???? That is ridiculous.
OK - have your pity party today. First time I went somewhere (the funeral home) that ex brought his affair partner (now his wife) - I fell apart emotionally. (so I really DO understand how you feel). I left and cried all the way home. But I didn't run for comfort at a bar and pick up the first guy who bought me a drink (metaphorical). I vented to my friends. Licked my wounds. And vowed to continue working on the life I wanted for myself.
Ex has a controlling, cheating, predatory female who he is now married to. I have a loving, sharing, equal partner in my life. I waited until I was ready to find the right person for me. I did NOT settle.
Now stop with the crap thinking. It is ridiculous.
And I have one more thing to say that has really bothered me here when I have been reading. Anyone facing bankruptcy should not be planning a trip to Disney World. This is the mentality that has put this country where it is today. You should be getting a 2nd or 3rd job and getting YOURSELF back on your feet - not waiting for an insurance settlement or an easy out. Bankruptcy should not be the option. It is way too easy here.
Not what you want to read but there is much truth in my post.
Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. Life goes on and you can make yours happy.
Good job on the parenting, though. You get big points for that!
