Seeking. Fwiw I do not think your husband dislikes you. I think he is deeply conflicted, and very very guilty. These are the feelings that probably overwhelm him. He isn't ready to work on himself, because admitting that they have a problem is really really hard for these people, who have denied their childhood hurts for so long. While it is weird behaviour for a normal person it isn't strange for a MLCer.
I am not sure therefore, whether saying anything to your husband would serve any purpose. He might give you an answer, because he felt he had to, but the chances of it being a real one are slim. As Snodderly would say, this person is not baked yet! [And in truth I wonder how many of them go to their graves and never sort themselves out]
I would tell your daughter that you so not know why your husband is like this. Which is true. We have our ideas but in truth we do not know.
I don't think it would be wrong to tell your daughter that it bothers you, but that you can live with it. There is a limit to how much we can, and I believe, should, cover for these crazy people. We didn't break them, and can't fix them, but we do not have to make their excuses either!! At some point they have to face those whose lives their behaviour has impacted.
Although my children are older, they have had to work out their own ideas about their father, and come to terms with it through their own eyes. And they are harder on him than I am. But they also see that it is he who is the loser, in every sense.
