It's good to care about other people and their feelings; it's essential to care about ourselves too. Sometimes to take good care of ourselves we must make a choice.
I really hope W has a productive talk and the day ends better than it started for you.
Not gonna give ya a hug...need a few beers first.
Not even a bro hug? Yeah, maybe that requires beer goggles too
Chipmonkey...she was so just barely able to function this morning. She has literally nothing in her tank and after a year of this sitch, and her whole life leading up to it, I can't tell if she's hitting bottom and could come back up, or just taking that final bow on the way down, down, down. I will give us this, that she does tell me what is going on with her, how she is feeling, her confusion, fear, frustration, all of it. The issue of the meds is huge, and trying to get a handle on this today.
She can still manage to surface now and again and be happy, if it is something that is totally non-threatening for her (and that means not us). Like I am remodeling a master bath in our house. I get up at 4 and do a couple hours of work, then my bud who is laid off, works on it during the day. That way we are getting through it faster and I pay this guy under the table. I let her choose everything for amenities and color, etc. That makes her happy - being creative, and spending money!
This is why I am struggling with this all - her sitch, my own life and taking it back, our M, my empty love tank. I don't know if I'm a DB success story in that I feel great about my own life and kids, and then totally emotionally detached from her? I love all the way when I love so its not like I'm some heartless nazi about this. I just feel totally detached and outside of what used to be an "us". I do know that I am so protective of her...if she feels and ounce of pain it guts me, and I still feel that, however I feel no life connection to her at all other than we're dealing with this thing going on. Maybe self preservation, don't know. I'm being honest about this. I've been with her 25 years and never could have imagined feeling this way. And you know Ray, could I be ready to move on and love another. I have to say I yeah, I can feel the things I've learned in this and in life and am thinking how ready I am to share it all again, yet I'm open to her still. If you think I am selling her short tell me. I will tell you I loved her with all of me and held nothing back.
This is why I am struggling with this all - her sitch, my own life and taking it back, our M, my empty love tank. I don't know if I'm a DB success story in that I feel great about my own life and kids, and then totally emotionally detached from her?
I think dudes are fairly simple critters. I have my friends, my hobbies, my career, and my sister. Together these are all part of a mostly fulfilling life at the moment. There is, however, one very important thing missing. My wife right? No. Don't get me wrong, afterall my posts are riddled with my love for her. As harsh as this sounds - the only thing I am missing From my “dude’s” life is the emotional and physical connection that only a woman can provide. I really want that to be my wife, but I absolutely refuse let my life be less fulfilling because she is not here. There will come a day (soon for me), that I move on and allow somebody to get close again. Maybe self preservation, don't know. I'm being honest about this. I've been with her 25 years and never could have imagined feeling this way. And you know Ray, could I be ready to move on and love another. I have to say I yeah, I can feel the things I've learned in this and in life and am thinking how ready I am to share it all again, yet I'm open to her still. If you think I am selling her short tell me. I will tell you I loved her with all of me and held nothing back.
Rick, this is largely rhetorical. Only you know when it’s time to move on. I am such a novice at this business. Having said that, I would not blame you for moving on. Sisyphus has nothing on you… BTW - how cool would it be if she came out of it? Would you be happy?
Me: 44 Bomb: 11/27/11 Divorced:6/12 Life goes on: 6/13
This is why I am struggling with this all - her sitch, my own life and taking it back, our M, my empty love tank. I don't know if I'm a DB success story in that I feel great about my own life and kids, and then totally emotionally detached from her?
I think dudes are fairly simple critters. I have my friends, my hobbies, my career, and my sister. Together these are all part of a mostly fulfilling life at the moment. There is, however, one very important thing missing. My wife right? No. Don't get me wrong, afterall my posts are riddled with my love for her. As harsh as this sounds - the only thing I am missing From my “dude’s” life is the emotional and physical connection that only a woman can provide. I really want that to be my wife, but I absolutely refuse let my life be less fulfilling because she is not here. There will come a day (soon for me), that I move on and allow somebody to get close again. Maybe self preservation, don't know. I'm being honest about this. I've been with her 25 years and never could have imagined feeling this way. And you know Ray, could I be ready to move on and love another. I have to say I yeah, I can feel the things I've learned in this and in life and am thinking how ready I am to share it all again, yet I'm open to her still. If you think I am selling her short tell me. I will tell you I loved her with all of me and held nothing back.
Rick, this is largely rhetorical. Only you know when it’s time to move on. I am such a novice at this business. Having said that, I would not blame you for moving on. Sisyphus has nothing on you… BTW - how cool would it be if she came out of it? Would you be happy?
Rick, this is largely rhetorical. Only you know when it’s time to move on. I am such a novice at this business. Having said that, I would not blame you for moving on. Sisyphus has nothing on you… BTW - how cool would it be if she came out of it? Would you be happy?
Ray - I can't imagine her coming out of it. That doesn't mean it can't happen because she's in charge of whatever/wherever she ends up. Trying to trust the process for her and her path, and handle the damage as it occurs.
I would have said at one time, I would be insanely happy. Now, I know more about myself - what I don't want and what I do want to be and experience. And I'm not sure of her anymore, not just the psyche issues which are ongoing, but what about life choices made and my thought on their morality? I'm still goose stepping to CA, and getting shot at while I'm doing it.
Time will tell. I'm asking all the questions for me, why not, even if they are thinking outloud on this board.
I knew it...Ray is one of the Shaolin monks (monkey..see the connection was there hiding in plain sight) with Mach in the ancient shaolin temple with modern IT equipment dispensing wisdom to the decadent westerners.
