Let me clarify, because I don't think he should mess up the entire schedule with his children, every week, or every so often. I'm simply saying, calling one night and saying you can't come that night, not an entire week or weekend. I'll be blunt here. I think she uses him as her baby sitter, and plans her entire life around this. As a former single parent, you have to be responsible and take that responsibility and not treat your children's father like a sitter.
She does not feel him gone. It is not revenge, it is showing the WAS that you are not there to fall back on 100%, that you have a life now too and that you are out there living it. She cannot know what it feels like to sit outside the circle, when she knows he is a sure thing, every time, 100% of the time.
Build mystery, create mystery.
"Why did he call and cancel his day/night with the kids? What is it that he is doing that is so important".
I guarantee you, she'll run to check his facebook to try and figure this out.
One night does not destroy a relationship with father and child. It might however get the WAS to sit up and take notice......
"Hey, he has a life now...... and I'm ....not....in.....it"
When you are there 100%, there is no mystery, she does not feel him gone, and she knows she can 100% rely on him when she needs him to be there.
Of course, I'm not saying cancel important appointments, or promised things with the kids. Just an regular night where nothing super special was planned out.
I could be be totally wrong here, but then maybe not.
