You can't get away from us that easily, heh heh. We will go to Survivor's and find you! No, itm, I would wonder about you, so like with others here whose situation I have followed, whether they have either reconciled or moved on with their life after D, I will keep a check on your sitch. And, I hope for the best for you and your family. And I hope the bluebird of happiness drops a big one on you know who.
I agree with you, your STBXH is a really damaged person, and I guess you had to come to a point where it is just too harmful to you to keep on trying with him. I also think feeling sympathy for him is kind of you, but so many people have gone through a bad as that, and had the strength of mind and spirit to get beyond their childhood. I was sexually and physically abused as a child. And my abuser seemed to enjoy humiliating and mentally torturing me. My mother never lifted a finger to stop it. Then he made her choose between my sisters and me, and him, and we were sent away from home for good, because she chose him. My H still says he does not know how I got beyond that and became such a loving mother. I am not that strong a person, so what makes one person able to overcome their childhood, and someone else to spend their life wallowing in it? One of my sisters is like your H. She has never been able to overcome our childhoods. She is an alcoholic, and can't sustain a R. And she is a very vicious, mean person, and believes everyone else has problems except her. You are right, some people are just too broken, and we can't fix them, so we have to just make sure WE don't get broken.
Your STBXH may be in that euphoric world of new love(lust), but he will be lucky if he can sustain it for very many years. I will be surprised if he can. But, like you said, he is on his own, getting what he thinks he wanted, and you have to go and find itm again.
