Husband has moved in with affair

[TSquared2]

so how does one go about ending the affair when h will not? is waiting the only way to get an answer?

Well, from my experience and all that I have read, here and elsewhere, 3 choices:
a.) Let it die on its own...usually they do once the "honeymoon" is over and twinkle twat learns that H farting in his sleep ain't that hip and predator prick has his CC run up to the limit, and she starts complaining about not having $$ for the latest i-whatever-crap

b.) Issue an ultimatum--here's one from Coach that I have ready to edit as needed should I ever decide to walk the "Last, Last Resort Technique" path:

"Wife, you asked the other day what we are going to do. Here is what I decided. I won't live in a open marriage. Unless you break off all contact and we have complete transparency, meaning I have access to your e-mail, cell phone and know where you are going to be. If you can't agree to that then this marriage is over and I won't move out of my house. . If you do agree to that then we will attend MC together and work on the issues that keep us from feeling loved and respected to each other."

Then don't be the next one to speak. She's either in or out. You are letting her off the hook, she get's to choose.

c.) Find a L and file.


One thing to think about: What EXACTLY bothers you about the affair? That she is better in bed? Prettier? Jealous of her youth? ???

Then, what is the root of that? Usually it is fear, and once identified, it can be conquered.

it really stinks being left and having no say in a marriage a process that started with both of us making a joint decision - who told h he could take away my rights without asking?

I got stuck on this myself, a hard stuck, but it is essential to accept that YES, IT IS NOT FAIR! But it is REALITY! YOUR reality, his reality, the KIDS' reality... It blows...but it IS. You are letting H and twinkle twat take YOUR power as long as you are in this mindset...and even after you get it wrassled to the ground...it will sneak up on you from time to time (this happened to me this past weekend)...This is why you GAL and focus on your kids and you only.

Let him go play Hugh Hefner...we all know how attractive THAT looks...

If I sounded a bit harsh, I apologize, I wallowed in "not-fair" for far too long, delaying the progress through the sitch....

You have a mission, I know you want to complete it. What is the first step in getting to the objective?

You.can.do.this!