11th Hour of Divorce & Trial: What Else Can I Do?

[25yearsmlc]

My attorney has written several letters regarding the servellance, and it's impact on my condition. His council denied.

I did think about the private insurance company, especially after a daytime stake out - where the guy took pictures of me, and didn't give a crap that I saw him. Pictures of me getting my mail - still upsetting for someone who has panic and paranoia issues.

I even considered the insurance on the restaurant - perhaps something was wrong there.

I finially made a visit to the police headquaters as I actually had photographs
and wittnesses, and a huge bag of Dunkin donuts, and a busted up face. The head detective had time to work with me. He pulled all my reports, gave the photos to the invstigators.

He said there is no way an insurance company would carry out an investigation like the the ones that were reported. The detected told me these kinds of activities are related to divorces in most cases.

that would make sense. You did say that you are "prone to paranoia" in the same sentence claiming you are being followed. You need to prepare for how most strangers hear that. Don't be offended by doubt; understand it and expect and acknowledge it. THAT builds credibility.



The best part was to be taken seriously, as well, I learned there is nothing you can do other than take a stalking order out against the perpatrator.

I guess those photos vindicated me in a way. I might have some issues, but I'm not gonna run barefoot on asphalt, downhill, and bust myself up to get pictures of just a random driver-by. Those that didn't buy my story, like you 25, had a paradigm shift when they saw the 8x10 photographs of the kind of thugs that have been sitting outside my bedroom window.

I cannot tell you the feeling when you know you are not believed - and you ARE reporting the complete truth. To see eyes roll, or a "not sure I buy that" are terminologies I am unaccustomed too - as a damn good researcher. It almost feels like gaslighting. I know people mean well.

I believe I used the term "gaslighting" referring to your h. Do you recall that?

And here is what I am afraid of in Court. I tell my story, and I'm not believed. I also worry, terribly about my ability to recall information, and do not want to appear I am stalling or BSing when my mind is blank. I can look at my lawyer, and not even recall her name, that is how bad the memory issue is with the drugs.

first of all I don't see that much relevance to his surveillance if this is really a property settlement hearing. So why go there?


I stutter, and have very visible tremors. I don't want him to see me like this.


don't want WHO to see you like this? Your h? Hmmm, but you want to be married to him?

When are you at your best? What is that like?

What helps you get there? Focus on that, not your fears. Your fears take up too much of your life. Did you read my whole post?


Next, the disability issue for 12 years VS a Ph.D. Some people cannot and will not understand this disorder. This seems to be an angle opposing council plans to show. (doesn't make sense though, other than they believe I can go back to work in my profession like this, and that will cut down on alimony?).

Jury. My husband won't take his attorney advice. Jury would not like either of us. They wont understand my illness, and of course, his temper. Jury is bad all around. But he was demanding (with his fist on the table) to be heard last time in Court. And it was something to hear and watch, indeed.

worst case they may think you're partly malingering, but that he's an SOB...you win

Questions will have to be repeated to me. I can only hold so much in my mind. Having been deposed many times, even seven hours at a time, I am methodical and concise in my response. Not sure my attorney is confident about that yet. That can be viewed as a good thing, but a bad thing to.

Anyway, this is just responding to the red box. I don't want to make mistakes in Court. Timeframes are totally squewed in my mind. It is like these years have not even gone by. Like time is still.

I'm not especially excited to see my husband ripped to shreads on the stand - when this time, it would be entertainment, shock and awe. He will have to answer questions..

explain this^^^ please. I'm not clear on your meaning

The last court appearance, while entertaining for the spectators, was pretty grilling for me to sit thru. I couldn't help him, and he thought he was doing a great job. He walked off the stand like a proud peacock. I am so embarrassed for him. His anger and rage are at such a level that I would be concerned about his BP.

wow...that is NOT your problem (unless you want to make it all about you and then he can blame you for it??) Avoid such co-dependence.

With as easily as I can get mixed up, his lawyer can probably make me look just terrible too. I don't wish to look terrible, and to get mixed up, and then have the judge assume my mind is as clear as anyone else's. For a fair playing field, everyone involved should have at least one Topamax mood stabilizer, so we can be on the same page. Well, that would be in a perfect world!


Ask your shrink/MD to give you whatever helps your recall the most and do the Cognitive work to stay calm and clear.

The hearing won't kill you, and it won't last forever. And when its over - you will finally be able to close that chapter...


I'll respond to the other post about having a baby later on. I can give you more reasons why I am mortified. I hope these are good enough. Thank you so much for responding, 25! Yas

I didn't bring up the baby so I guess someone else did. FYI I get confused with various posters and their backstories all the time.