Together Since We Were 15...Now Piecing

[Jenna333]

Yes, I see that. Our C told us that taking a breather while fighting is a very healthy and helpful thing to do. Take an hour, few hours, and if it's severe enough, a night apart. Gives us time to clear our heads, to miss each other, and to remember *why* we love each other.

But yes, I do struggle with the abandonment trigger.

We've had a great past couple of days. It faltered a little this afternoon when I bright up establishing boundaries when it comes to going out separately. I feel that it's just something that needed to happen. I don't want us to have different ideas about what's ok. The latest he can be home is 4am. Ugh, that is so late. But he doesn't get off work until around midnight, so I guess it makes sense.

I refuse to control him anymore, but I also refuse to be disrespected! I did bring up not bring ok with hanging out with the OW (I hate even calling her that) in any way. I mentioned it because he's a server at a restaurant. Sometimes they all hang out together at a bar or a house after work. He said he knows that I wouldn't be ok with that and feels like I don't trust him. He cannot eclectic me to trust him overnight! I am starting on that road. He said he thought I wouldn't bring her up anymore. I barely did. I just said I wouldn't be ok Ruth her bring around him anywhere but at work. If the situation were reversed, I *know* he'd feel the same way.

Heavy stuff. I feel like it didn't have to be. I don't think it's controlling to establish boundaries. I was so worried he'd see it that way. He kept getting defensive and then would calm down and say he's not used to this. He's used to us having zero respect for each other, do he's trying to not see the boundaries as a control tactic. It's frustrating.

So yeah, he won't be home until 4am. Yippee. At least I know he's hanging out with a coworker that likes me. I went into the restaurant as they were closing the other night after I got out of school (going on 11pm). This coworker told J that I'm a very good looking lady, lol! Not in front of me. J told me later at home. Said coworker also told J in front of me that he needs to get a ring on my finger