Stuck in a mess

[Dory]

I also have a couple of questions regarding setting goals as a way to measure success. I understand that I have to be fairly specific with my goals, but how specific exactly? Ultimately I want a happy marriage and I know I have to break that down into smaller steps. After reading Gottman's Seven Principles, I know that a solid friendship is the foundation of every happy marriage so I must restore my friendship with H. I know that's way too broad a goal and I need to break that down further.

So how many smaller goals is it best to be working on at one time as a means of working toward a larger goal? What I mean is, if my larger goal is to rebuild our friendship, and my broken down fractions of that goal is to get him to go golfing with me, having longer, more meaningful conversations, going out to dinner together, or out for drinks, should I be focusing on only one of those smaller fractions at a time?

Or are these smaller goals I've set still too broad?

Actually I have already managed to get H to join me out for dinner once already. Yay me!

For how long is it best to watch and see if something is working before ditching it and trying something different?

Thanks for any input!