My biggest regret by far, in the 2-3 year period leading up to and including the separation,
was how much energy I spent focussed on the uncontrollable. Instead, I should have spent my energy on creating a happier fuller life for ME and my kids, which I COULD control...and SHOULD control anyhow.
When I finally truly detached, (In spurts of course, as others have said, it's not a linear path)
I started to turn things around inside...and it showed on the outside. Somehow when you know you are going to be just fine, with or without your spouse, and you like yourself again,
it radiates.
It attracts...
Learning to let all the uncontrollables in life go &
not just h's feelings/thoughts/plans OR my perceptions of them, but other parts of life as well...
has improved my life hugely. It's probably the best thing about DBing and it's also in the
12 Stepper's Serenity prayer, for a reason. God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot control,
the courage to change the things I can, and
the wisdom to know the difference.
It is a healthier happier way to live. And it SO helps the DB process.
good luck!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
