I really hope W has a productive talk and the day ends better than it started for you.
Not gonna give ya a hug...need a few beers first.
Not even a bro hug? Yeah, maybe that requires beer goggles too
Chipmonkey...she was so just barely able to function this morning. She has literally nothing in her tank and after a year of this sitch, and her whole life leading up to it, I can't tell if she's hitting bottom and could come back up, or just taking that final bow on the way down, down, down. I will give us this, that she does tell me what is going on with her, how she is feeling, her confusion, fear, frustration, all of it. The issue of the meds is huge, and trying to get a handle on this today.
She can still manage to surface now and again and be happy, if it is something that is totally non-threatening for her (and that means not us). Like I am remodeling a master bath in our house. I get up at 4 and do a couple hours of work, then my bud who is laid off, works on it during the day. That way we are getting through it faster and I pay this guy under the table. I let her choose everything for amenities and color, etc. That makes her happy - being creative, and spending money!
This is why I am struggling with this all - her sitch, my own life and taking it back, our M, my empty love tank. I don't know if I'm a DB success story in that I feel great about my own life and kids, and then totally emotionally detached from her? I love all the way when I love so its not like I'm some heartless nazi about this. I just feel totally detached and outside of what used to be an "us". I do know that I am so protective of her...if she feels and ounce of pain it guts me, and I still feel that, however I feel no life connection to her at all other than we're dealing with this thing going on. Maybe self preservation, don't know. I'm being honest about this. I've been with her 25 years and never could have imagined feeling this way. And you know Ray, could I be ready to move on and love another. I have to say I yeah, I can feel the things I've learned in this and in life and am thinking how ready I am to share it all again, yet I'm open to her still. If you think I am selling her short tell me. I will tell you I loved her with all of me and held nothing back.
