My Story So Far. Is this even worth saving?

[timbits]

OK, Part 2:
Anyway, I sent OW the email to never call that number again and I also then sat down and wrote H a letter. I told him that I needed 4 things that were the absolute minimum to stay married.
1. No contact with OW ever. For anything. Ignore emails, phonecalls, if you see her in person not even a nod hello.
2. He do everything the MC recommends, including getting IC for himself. I'm getting back to my own IC to deal with my own issues.
3. He get a job within 30 days. I can't handle the stress of being the only worker in the house. And he has too much free time on his hands to obsess about OW. It's time he started helping me support the household.
4. That we move from our current place (his parent's basemente apt for cheap rent) by the end of November at the latest. I'm not spending another Christmas there.
I told him that there were other things I wanted, but these were the minimum and if he couldn't do that, the least he could do would be to tell me now so I could pick up the pieces and move on.

That afternoon, he drove out to the office (45 minutes away) with flowers and a card. He said in the card that he made a huge mistake and that he felt like our marriage was becoming a friendship only. He felt that because of the lack of intimacy, he needed to have that need met elsewhere. I left the office (it was closing time, anyway) and we drove in seperate vehicles. When we got home, we took one vehicle and went to the parking lot of our favourite restaurant. And we talked. We really talked.

He told me the truth. That he did have feelings for OW, that they had kissed on several occasions and, while they didn't have sex (she had 3 kids and they made it difficult), if the opportunity arose, they would have done so. He said that he felt like he couldn't tell me the truth. True, I had gotten upset before, but I am fairly rational and calm. I was more angry that he LIED to me than by what he did. I told him that I was happy he told me the truth. He agreed that he can't have the two of us in his life and that he chose me. He wanted to be with me. That we both needed to work on issues, but he had a lot of his own and he acknowledged that he was most of the problem. He agreed that he has problems communicating with me and lying to me because he's afraid of my reaction.

Honestly, both he and I feel like he had a mlc (he's not even 30 yet, but he said that he's afraid he's getting older and missed out on a lot). I feel like I love him and want to save the marriage, but this feels like he spit in my face. And that if he wants me to be comfortable with being intimate, I need to TRUST him. I don't trust him right now. I don't know if I can get there.

So what I've done so far is continue my MC sessions and I've started using the 37 rules for the 180. I used to call him a lot when I was at work. I've stopped doing that. He now calls me. I am also starting to watch my diet and go to the gym again. I'm also focusing on doing things I want to do. I want to go to a movie and H isn't in the mood? I'll go by myself. If I want to go to the gym and H is too tired? I'll go by myself.

I think he feels everything is blown over and is fine, but honestly, I'm still hurting. I feel really angry with him over it. I love him more than anything, but I can't help but feel like he takes me for granted. Well, being a martyr is not fun. So I'm not going to allow it any more. I'm going to take care of myself and improve myself and GAL. If he isn't willing to put me first in his life, I'll just have to do it for myself.