Well, that last paragraph did not make much sense, I'm sure.
CV, it does not affect my feelings toward my H when I come to DB and discuss issues. And honestly, I don't remember anyone else who has asked me anything about our R.
For me, it was therapy to come here and talk. My unhappiness was evident then. I have to give credit to several board members at that time who taught me. After I was able to let it go, then it did not make me unhappy to discuss my MR with new board members b/c I wanted to help others the way I was helped.
Right now, it's very difficult for you b/c you are dealing with a lot of "stuff", and it is painful to talk about it. If family and/or friends want to discuss something that you know is going to put you right back into that sad place again...you will have to tell them you are dealing. It's personal and you aren't required to talk about it to anyone you do not chose to discuss it with.
After we forgive, we are rather delicate for a while (IMHO), and we need encouragement to lift us up and see hope. So, you may have to avoid certain folks or situations that could affect your resolve (if you've made one).
I look at it like healing physically from an infection. You need to keep the infected wound shielded from germs until it has time to start healing.
I'm blessed that I don't have family or friends that try to influence me against my H. If they did, I would have a hard time. OTOH, if they are always talking about him as if he's like perfect and I'm lucky to have him....that would probably stir up my "old feelings" quicker than most anything. Crazy, huh?
It's a matter of knowing yourself and how you react to certain things. If it's bad, then stay away from it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
