I don't love you anymore, but we can be friends

[workinghardguy]

My family is telling me to f*ck it, she should not be doing this and if she loved me she would not be acting this way (morale booster huh?).

Family will be of little help. They love you and want what's best for you, except they're human which means they also have self-interest at play. While they want you to be happy... they also don't want to have to watch you in pain. Hence the attitude of "drop her and move on".

My mom has always thought of my W as her own daughter. She co-signed the loan so my W could go to nursing school when my W's own parents wouldn't. Yesterday my mom tells me I'm crazy for putting up with this and for not "taking her to task" for all the pain she is causing the kids. At that point I literally put the phone down so she could rant a little and then came back about two minutes later just as her rant was wrapping up.

And don't expect any help from her family either. Blood is thicker than anything and they all stick together no matter what.

W seems so back and forth, one minute she is talking my ear off the next not a word

Yes, this is completely normal (or as normal as any of this is). The WAS is human too. Humans are drawn to the known and the comfortable. So yes, she will talk your ear off at times. And other times she will lock you out.

If you want to make her feel the loss of you then you need to not be as available for those "chats". I did not do that very well at all when W and I were still in the same house. Being successful at being dark in your own house is a very challenging endeavor.