11th Hour of Divorce & Trial: What Else Can I Do?

[Yasu]

Thank you Broken. I feel so broken, too. Please do not be stood and waste over three years kidding yourself. I am so happy you found the forum soon after your crisis began. Today I am so saddened to face that I may just be at the beginning. I'm just not processing, just obviously too many drugs.

I'm tracing my slow down to the start of the heavy doses of mood stabilizers, about two years ago. The introduction of those things also made me nonproductive and zombee like.

I was excited again revamping my art sculpture that had just been junked in the basement, as husband didn't like. And that is fair enough. They are very challenging pieces - and they are huge. They are electronic assemblages that contrast concepts such as heaven and he'll, good and evil, etc. Spinning heads, bloodied mummies, tattooed baby dolls, religious figures, all back dropped with party lights. They are creepy, voodooesk - but now, are proudly displayed in the front living room, yes, the rooms with the seven foot bay windows on the front. I thing I was actually GALing back then.

Surveillance suddenly started big time spring 2010. Both on the road, and at places I went. I got scared in the grocery store and had a panic attack. The ambulance was called and I ended up in the hospital. It's been downhill since.
I never quite got back on track after that.

The difference between then and now is that I am not afraid of the servielence. And it has really toned down, since the neighborhood observed it and got involved. The only other difference is the mood stabilizer in my system, and increased doses of AD's. Well, I see Psychiatrist again early next week. I am telling him I still am not right. Exerting I write here is a huge manic contradiction.

Please understand, my lovely readers and contributors, I am not bull headed. I am a very good learner and reporter. I just don't know if I'm coming or going. Bit I am paying close attention, and absorbing your responses and analysis as quickly as I can. Too, bringing our discussion to Theripist so there will be some solution based direction. I think this is a very good therapist - I can judge by his openness to the forums principles, and responses.

I had a therapist that was extremely condescending that I tolerated way too long. I'm in good hands now.

Today, running to another state seemed like a really good idea, literally! But I know I cannot disappear.

For real though, I really don't care to live here as my marriage is obviously over. This is not my choice of a place to live. Plus, I don't want to see him, even by accident. It will never be good for me. This is problematic with upsideown homes, three of them. I would really like to live in Chicago, which is where I am from if I were to set a goal to work towards. It is not a realistic goal, but, I have reached goals that did not seem realistic before. Hmmm.

25, I realize there is a question pending. When my husband abandoned me for a second time in Greece, I did not return home for a few months. No one knew where I was for a long time. Someone in the family spotted me in a village nearby the family home. I really had no idea how close these towns were to one another. The word got round that I was living abroad without my husband. I'm told colorful rumors began in the villages, and spread, shaming my Greek family. American married woman traveling alone, without her husband, for months, is not acceptable behavior in the old culture, period. That's a nice way to put it.

Finially, my husband came over to Greece, and hired detectives to try to find me, unsuccessfully. The plan was to have me served. I got home just after he got home. We made up. Subsequently, he said he wanted a divorce. I asked him to leave the marital home, and I high tailed it to an attorney that I had pre-selected a year prior, and got my filing in first by just a few hours.

And that is what happened. My doctor (at the time) supported my time away, and I came back 30 pounds lighter, and better able to cope, and make a stand on how I would handle his abuse in the future.