Thank you for your reply. I should give you a little backround history of our family dynamics. OUr mentally ill son , since childhood has had behavior problems. He is 41 now, but back when he was little, we couldn't seem to get a diagnosis on what was causing his problems. Attention deficit was just starting to be diagnosed and dr thought that may be that was his problem. However, meds did not help.
As he got older, the problems became more pronounced-trouble at school, fighting with younger brother, defiant, trouble with law. His father and I did what we could to help him and try to get a diagnosis as to what was wrong. However, there came a point when husband decided he was just a bad kid and needed more discipline. They had a lot of yelling matches[no physical violence], but there was tension in the household.It got to the point where our sons problems kind of took over the house. WE did argue at times because I always thought there was something mentally wrong with son-that it was more than behavior related. We also had three younger children to care for. When we were going through divorce, husband sent our son to his parents to see if they could somehow help him. They ended up giving him money on a regular basis, as son unable to hold down a "normal" job. He was able to earn a small income doing computer work, but not enough to be self sustainable.
When his behavior became so bizarre, his parents called and said we needed to do something with our son as something was very wrong. My now ex brought son back, but he moved son in with me to take care of., as husbands OW would not allow son at their home.
Fast forward to the present. He was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia, approx 4 yrs ago.. I think ex feels some guilt about how he felt towards son,when he was a child, now that we know he has probably always had this diagnosis.
My ex is a very good dad to the other kids, but with this son it has always been different. I have done whatever I could to encourage a relationship between them, as I feel a father is very important. A son needs a father figure. I think my ex is at a point, where he just doesn't want to deal with anymore of this. Like I said, I think he does just enough to keep me off his back--which I'm really not. IT is their relationship to work out. I guess I'm just disappointed in that it seems to be ok with ex that I do all the care, and call him if I might need something. Its not a 50/50 coparent relationship. I should add that son lives in grp home during week. Ex takes him out to dinner mid week, for approx 2 hrs time frame. Son comes to my house on Friday night at 4pm and spends the weekend, going back to grp home either Sunday night or Monday morning.
Again, thank you for your insight. I appreciate any response I get so I can clarify things in my mind.
