Cadet, you're an experienced DBer. Can you point me (us?) at any resources on "cake eating"? I've struggled with whether I should be doing things around the house to make things easier on W, really worried that I'm giving her the best of both worlds.

My DB coach advised me differently. She feels that the things I do to make W's life better are constructive and that I'm making deposits to her "love bank".

In my case, there is only a long-distance EA, not a PA. I'm not sure if that makes a difference.

Is there a thread somewhere that I can read?

- All for the kids -
Me:34, W:35
M:7, T:13
S6, D3 + my D15 from previous marriage
July 2011 "I think I need a separation"
W filed D September
Currently living apart - she has the house, I rent a room