11th Hour of Divorce & Trial: What Else Can I Do?

[Yasu]

Thank you 25. Having a doctorate myself in assessment, measurement and evaluation, I can tell you I feel like a complete idiot when I come up with such ideas. That is the reason Phychiatriast is having me come in more frequently. While I like to "play" doctor at home, I never do anything without the doctor's prescription! No worries! I learned that I am not my doctor two decades ago.

VM Extinguishment Bursts

If I blamed these for the reason of my distraction and recent mistakes I was completely wrong. If I blamed husband for my lack of control when I get in one of the moods, infrequently, I was completely wrong. The simple fact is that I was unable to control my urge and expectation for immediate gratification and attention at that moment I wanted to handle the VM matters I called about.

If he chides to be nonresponsive, I have the option to call the attorney rather than get piss't off and distracted or obsessed with the problem or business matter.

Root of Distraction Problem and Increased Meds

Once I returned home from rental, I was twice serveiled on the road. These took me quite by surprise. I hadn't felt with this problem in months. One Serveillence he himself followed me 15 miles to my doctors appointment. The next one was at the grocery very soon after. I took these as signs of his interest (mindreading) only to get slammed with threats of a trial - which frightened me.

All, culminated in extreme anxiety and insomnia, and phichaitrist upped several doses. On my home from that doctor I got that fat ticket, followed by several other mistakes with medication, and important emails and business matters I goofed up. That is when I really started posting a lot on DB. As my therapist corrected me today, "I allowed" those two surveilences to really get to me.

And I did, (and still do) believe they were the root of my spinning once I got home. And I think I would Have less anxiety if I could drive without seeing him, or others perched watching me. It is stopped, it was weeks ago, and I just have to get over it.

This severe anxiety, once it starts, it's like a tornado. I am just now realizing these events had to have been at least a couple weeks ago, maybe four weeks ago. That is why it is very nice if the tornado is not started in the first place. As during a tornado, a lot of damage can be done.

Yes, he knows very well he pushed the buttons to start this tornado with the surveilences, purposely holding back my checks, and shorting the mortgage to the last possible day it would go on the credit report. These latter tactics are new, and were effective. So, I cannot let him yank my chain.

However - I just don't understand how he bears no responsibly by purposely entagonizing a highly medicated person, he well knows is prone to paranoia in certain curcumstances. Can you explain that to me?

I will address the rest of you post as well later on this evening. Yas