You are doing very well on your GAL activities keep it up. Yes the "divorce diet" as some call does make us lose weight. i myself have dropped @ 20lbs and it shows. It's good that you are gaining some weight back.
Yes it is normal for you to feel the way that you do. A 180 for you would be to stop being the "fixer" and use that for fixing yourself since you are the only one you can control. Being afraid that there is nothing left in your R is a normal part of the process. As is said a lot around here, time is on your side so take full advantage of it.
You have support here and you will have support with a counselor. It's way to easy for everyone who is on the outside looking in to say get a D since they are not emotionally attached to your situation. It's not your fault for telling family and friends what is going on you needed to vent as it is not good to keep all this bottled up inside. The thing you don't want to happen is anyone trying to confront your H.
Counseling is very good and to me it sounds like the one you saw was not very good. IMHO a counselor should not tell you to get a D that decision is yours to make. Find a counselor that is right for you. It may take a few tries but don't give up on it. I was very fortunate to find one who wanted to see me try to keep my M. I've made a lot of progress in my sessions and just the other day my counselor said that it really sounds like I am ready for my W to move out of the house.
Whatever you do do not stop posting here this place will help you tremendously. When you do see your H how do you appear and act around him?
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
