Specifics, please! Can't afford telephone consult!

[mishka422]

PTC, I completely agree with ces. Avoidance is not the same as detaching. If you are very uncomfortable with him being there then by all means leave, but don't tell him you are making plans specifically to be out because he's there! That is giving him power over you and you know he's loving that. Just be out and leave him a note to call you if he has questions. Too late now I suppose, but in future that would be a better way to play that (again, just my opinion).

Now, the health issue may be a stepping stone.

He specifically told you he was scared. That is very telling. He still is relying on you to be his emotional support. He knows full well that the 26 year old chippy isn't going to come hold his hand or probably even stick around if he gets very sick. He sees you as his long term 'rock' and is falling back on that now in his time of need.

Did he ask you to come to the Dr. with him? Did you offer? It could be a crack in the door.

I have seen other people here whose spouses turned to them in a crisis and it pulled them back together. They 'woke up' and realized who was most important to them.