FFMH5, welcome to the best place to be at a time like this! If you are not already seeing a counselor I highly recommend that get yourself to one ASAP.

Time really is on your side and you have a great opportunity to work on yourself and become the person only a fool would leave. I think you did the right thing in not talking to your H when he wanted too clearly you are not ready to talk. I would suggest that the next time he says that he wants to talk and you aren't ready for it that you tell him that you are not ready to talk but that you will when you are ready.

As far as asking whether it's an MLC or just an A really has no bearing on the situation as it's just a label. Please realize that there is nothing you can do about the OW that will eventually run it's course as I'm sure the OW will begin to pressure your H wanting more from him. You are on the right path by no longer snooping as it does nothing but bring you pain.

What are you doing for your GAL activities?

M 44 W 43
S 23 S 15
INILWY 9/11
Divorce Mediation started 3/13
June 30 the day W is moving out