Suddenly Separated in VA -- need your help

[mimivac]

So, MC yesterday went really well. Our therapist's office is near the city zoo and before the session I visited the zebras and thought about how I could stay open and confident in therapy while also being honest. I think a lot of H's comments hurt me because I internalize them so. Even though I know it to be false, when he says, "I'm no longer sexually attracted to you," I think, "Oh no, I must not be sexually attractive anymore." In GAL I am working on my health and appearance, not because I am unattractive, but b/c I want to feel better about myself. So if I can keep in mind that H's feelings are his feelings and not necessarily the cold, hard truth, I can stay open and confident and not become defensive. Knowing that I am a good person inside, I can consider the truth behind H's comments and use them to improve myself.

So, on the "sexually attractive" theme. H once again re-iterated that "that ship has sailed," "that thread has broken," and his sexual feelings for me are forever lost. However, the therapist then asked if we had ever had a satisfying sexual relationship and I was surprised by H's reaction. He seemed to be excited and started recounting all the fun stuff we used to do in that realm. Previously, he had insisted that it was never that good and that sex had always been our "weakest link." But this trip down memory lane really helped him to remember the good times. Afterwards he said that the session was "fun," and kissed me before we parted ways.

So, I was on the metro going home, happy from the session, but also trying to be realistic. It was a good therapy session, nothing more, nothing less. It was an inch forward in a long process that has yet to play out. I got home and immediately went about my business with the mindset that nothing had changed. No phone calls to H; no wondering if he would want to move back in soon. Nope. I cleaned my refrigerator (yeah I know, but it relaxes me), ate a wonderful homemade bolonasise sauce, and snuggled into bed with my books and cat.

Everyday I am thankful that I have the resources, ability, and stamina to take care of myself. Today, I will go to my salon after work and have my eyebrows done. Then I will go to my favorite tex-mex bar and have a bloody mary and maybe an appetizer or two. Time to plan out my GAL activities for this weekend. Wishing everyone a great day and weekend.

Mimi