11th Hour of Divorce & Trial: What Else Can I Do?

[25yearsmlc]

Yas,

if you are asking for my opinion on your prescritions, I'd defer to your doctors. I have a doctorate in LAW, not medicine.

I happen to know from someone close to me, that adderall AND wellbutrin at that level, would keep a horse awake. But I don't know the other meds or effects OR your body

or your other health issues.

I do wish you'd take Bond's advice about learning to get TOOLS for life skills to cope with life on its' terms...

other than the meds.

Sure, the meds can bridge a gap for you

OR treat an underlying chemical imbalance...I get that, and I support it.

But right now, you are blaming the medication "mistakes" for a lot of your distractability and overthinking things and CALLING your h and them blaming your h for not blocking you yikes!

(and arent' the med mistakes - yours? So what are you going to do to reduce them?)

If my h told me to put a block on MY phone AND change my number (even if he paid for it) I would see that as incredibly odd & controlling of him.

You are the one asking him (or demanding) for a favor b/c

you cannot control YOU --and you want him to change HIS number and send out new info to busines /social contacts b/c you are afraid you will call him. I don't want to crush your hopes but I see far too little movement towards a reconciliation from him, to spend energy on it.

Stop worrying about what his actions/inactions mean or don't mean. I will post a piece on Detachment for you to ponder at the end of this.

You don't see anything odd about YOU imposing your will on him-wanting him to change HIS phone

b/c you lack the self control it takes to not call. Maybe you can block yourself...somehow, or just behaviorally.

See, I think that type of behavior validates his choice to leave,

though you have been vague about what HE SAID when he wanted out.

I want to know if you are countering the negatives he has of you

with positive different behaviors...are you? How so?

Moving forward in your life does Not = giving up. It increases your level of happiness which is attractive

and if he turns your way, you'll be a lot more ready to heathily engage...

if he does not, you will still be better off that much sooner.

make sense?

here's the short piece on DETACHMENT, which is key to your mental and emotional health...to all of ours.



II. Detachment
Detachment is critical to the process of altering and repairing a relationship.

Attached, we take personally all that is said, not said, done and not done.

Our ego gets wounded and we say or do things that undermine our goals.

We can NOT control the actions of another. We are, however, responsible for our own actions. We are & always have been, responsible for our own happiness.

If we are detached from the actions of another, we can meet anger or indifference with love.

Met with love, we are in a position to diffuse the situation and transform it in a way that will be in alignment with our goals. On the flipside, detachment allows us to play it cool when we do get a positive reaction from our spouse. It is a way to break the distance/pursuer cycle.

Detachment is not withdrawal. It is not the mind saying, "I am not getting what I want so I must pull back." It is the natural acceptance of the reality that "I am alone responsible for how I act. I cannot control another person, but I can control how I respond to them."