Denial....its not just a river in Egypt...

[imthemom]

Blocked STBX's number on my cell. Right before I did I sent him a text and let him know that I would only be contacting him by email and only in regards to our S15, if he needed to speak to me regarding S15 only, I would appreciate the same.
He sent some mean text after that but they were ignored. Went to a Al anon meeting last night and it was all about how its a disease and we cant judge them for there behavior to us since they cant control it but we have to set boundries and respond with respect and love....OMG, that is so hard for me. that does not give him permission to treat me like crap and walk all over me. After everything he has done, he treats me like Im this terrible person, or better yet, like Im some insignificant high school gf that he has changed his mind about. Not a 19yr marriage were we raised 3 kids together. It makes me sick, but then I realized that him getting me to the point I was yesterday is not good for me, it would be better to just respond respectfully and set boundries. thus the blocking and no contact.

After 2 months of not seeing S15, they have a plan for S15 to spend the weekend with him this week. I hope it works out but S15 is stressing that his D is going to have him meet his gf. I told him it was going to happen sooner or later and that I was ok with that, so dont worry about me. I am just concerned that this will start more of S15s acting out. I dont want to see him hurt anymore, but we all have to except the situation for what it is...they have been seeing each other for almost a year. Theres a good chance it will turn into to more then what it is now. He needs to be prepared for that.
GAWD..how did I get here??? literally a year ago....its just crazy how 19 yrs can be undone in that short of a time. but really? I guess it was comeing undone way before that...