Well, since i do not see him i can only make assumptions myself. First, we have not discussed the finances but crunch time is coming, as h makes more than I and all the $ is needed to run the house we have; but i know i will have to provide some $ so he can live also.

As far as his appearance, no I do not think he has changed, toward the end of summer and last year he started to lose weight - now i know why. However, he was not working out or anything different and I can only guess it was the beginning of all the stress he has placed on himself.

Well, in speaking with a co-worker of his, h has no friends at work becuase they know what he is doing and has done not like they are friends of mine but don't like a man walking out on his family plus he has lied to everyone to include his mom and family.

At this point, like i said above, not sure what is going on - just would like the lies to stop as that would be a good step and possibly get some counseling. H currently lies and says he is being counseled by a baptist minister - yes, she not he is 21 and lives with h. With the position h has put himself in at work, i know that cannot be too wonderful as h also talks/texts ow all day - in what i have read and based on other comments this will/should/may get old - only time will tell.

As for a negative event recently i have come up with the following:
-h retired from military in 97
-i retired from military in 07
-father in law passed away May 09 - h spent much time with his mom helping take care of the house and father in law during this time as he had cancer and they live 5 hrs away.
-h's son went through drug rehab July 09, and because the relationship between me and the son was not good i failed to support h during this time; although i encouraged him to visit a couple of weekends. (the rehab was close to where we live)
- my daughter had grandson Feb 11 and went back to college Aug 11 in which we started full time care of grandson

it was in Oct 11 when h started to state there were issues with the marriage, but also though we were beyond counseling. this went on until h moved out 14 Feb 12 and into apt with ow.

not really sure what to think, as i have been told he is in a "me or selfish stage" and once he comes out of that then things will get better as they do not see it as mlc but just an affair.

h has defended ow to me saying no one knows the ow who is a good person - some would think differently:)
Through it all, i have remained positive, never say anything negative about h or ow and continue to pray they both come to their senses and see that family is important and that is where they need to be. ow has small child maybe 2-3 yrs with boyfriend she left for h.

praying for change everyday, several times a day:)