Wendy, it is early days, and you are doing incredibly well. Whether your husband comes through this or not, you will be fine.
My children are doing well, each of them having come to terms with it in their own way. It was hard for them because he had been such a good and loving father. Not only did they lose their father, effectively, although he does now show strong signs of reconnecting, but of course on his terms! [he is a PA MLCer who hasn't learned a thing] But the trust has gone. They had to deal with someone they loved and trusted, and depended on emotionally treating them as if they didn't matter, and that is hard for children at any age.
I think that is one of the hardest things, we depend [not co-depend, although of course that can be present] in a close family relationship, and we rely on people, and they walk away from all of that because they think it is stifling them. Hard for us, but in some ways even harder for our children. They are, after all their flesh and blood, whether adopted or born to them.
