Rollercoaster Ride...Holding on for dear life!

[2thepoint]

First observation is that if your H's LL is physical touch and he has not been getting it, then that is a huge problem. MY LL is physical touch followed very closely by words of affirmation.

My W NEVER initiates a kiss on the lips, like when I would get home from work. She Never would come up from behind and give me a hug. She would never hold my hand if we were walking down the street. All of these things I would have to initiate.

And this is how I feel loved but don't because it is missing in my life. Can you imagine why our M is on the skids?

So, my best advice is to confirm this is in fact your H's LL and if so, then look for ways to fill that void... start slow.. maybe a reassuring hand on his shoulder when he is doing something helpful. Then progress from there.

Asking for what you want is so critical. If you read my post from last week I think, where I had that conversation with my W about being clear in what she wants so that I don't go into fixit/control mode, then you know how important that is.

The shaming part is also very important. Get that book - How to Improve your M Without Talking About It. It touches a lot on shame and fear. Men feel shame, Women feel fear and how destructive it is to relationships.

I think I told you the other day that he is reaching out. His crying episode is also evidence of his emotional conflict, his conscience if you will.

You two have lots to work on but from my perspective there is tremendous hope. You just need to pick up the ball like the DB coach has said and run with it.