Hey RoughSeas sorry to hear about your sitch. Here's my story: one week before x-mas, we had a party with friends at the house. My H got really drunk and when everyone left, he started to get agressive, insulting and mean. My 15S tried to intervene and ended calling the neighbor to help. I ended going to Moms with S to spend the night. I was hoping to come home the next day and he'd be sorry! Wrong!! when I got home in the PM; he refused to let me in, finally let me in and told to pack my stuff and get out. I asked him why he was so mad, he said I didn't ASK him if my family could come over for Xmas Eve. BTW I hadn't even made plans yet. That was a pathetic answer. I was so confused and hurt. My son came with me and we had the worst xmas ever. Days later he wrote me a letteer that I was the reason for everything bad in his life and blamed me for everything. I was in a state of shock, in response wrote him a wake up letter that was pretty vicious hoping he would wake up and come to his senses!! Wrong, made him more mad!! I ended up renting a house with in 15 days of him throwing me out home. I got a nice house, i have several successful business and own real estate; and honestly i think he has been very jealous of this. Even though I've always told him it was ours. His business has been going sour for years and I think he's going through MLC and sever depression. I don't think that there is another woman. That would require effort, money and he doesn't trust women(Explain later in other posting related to his mother that abandoned him when baby; put in orphanage).
I left him alone, didn't call, text or email for more than 30 days; until I got the divorce papers in the mail. I was furious. I confronted him and begged him to take me back. He patted me like a dog and told me to move on with my life. He lied to the court and said we had been separated since 2008 (we were separated for a brief 3 mts, same issues). I refuse to sign the papers since it is considered PERJURY and mostly because I DO HOT WANT D. We have 1 year to R. I learned in the past 3 months that i was partly to blame and realize my faults. Its been the hardest thing ever. If I see him, he does not acknowledge me, he won't return few calls, few emails, won't communicate with me re: son. I sent him the release letter recommended admitting to my faults. He hasn't opened it. He refuse to tell me of a family friend that died. he hasn't told his family, etc..... And I am still not bothering him. he did stop by house to pick up son and i could tell he was mad at my new house. i have lost lots of wt, reading, watching less tV, not cooking, quilting, hanging out with friends, trying to have a good. Sometime I have to force myself to go out, because sometimes it can be easy to sit around and listen to Adele love songs and start to feel sorry for myself. But finally, i can see a small, very dim light. I'm starting to get use to this ALONE thing. It is hard, hard and sometime I keep wondering what could I have done to have been a better wife, but even though i had my faults, I was a great wife. faithful, good cook, housekeeper, lover, friend, great sence of humor, optimistic, loving, and i can keep going. But if he's never going to acknowledge that the good things can sometimes outweight the bad, well, then I'just going to have move on with my life. I STILL LOVE him with all my heart and i still want it to work and I am going to be patient hoping that he might come to his senses sooner later, but i can't wait forever. Life is to short. i hope that you can do that same. I am doing the phone coaching and it has been a wake up call. this is where i was able to admit to my faults. Keep me posted on your progress and I will do that same. Good Luck to You..