I almost never initiate contact with my xh. I did send him the funeral service of an old mutual friend recently. My xh was unable to go, as he was in hospital. I would have done that for an old friend that I no longer had much to do with, and it saved my widowed friend from having to do it.
I am pretty detached for the most part, and see very clearly what a walking disaster his life is. I am a mix of sorry for him [because of what we had] exasperated that he is so emotionally stupid, and relieved not to have to deal with it now we are divorced.
I have no idea what he thinks about anything, and the further away I get, the less the whole mess bothers me. I will not say I don't care, because we had a long marriage, and to dismiss all of that would diminish me, but it is no longer a significant part of my life. It was, for a long time, and I do not regret that. It felt right to mourn something that lasted a long while, and brought me much happiness.
