WRT selfishness, virtually anything we do can be spun as being selfish. i.e. if I buy you lunch, you could argue that I only did it because it made me feel good and that was selfish. Therefore, I think the test is if you're more selfish than "normal" and I don't think I am. If anything I think I'm more giving than normal, but once again you could spin that as being selfish because I like to be acknowledged.

I had an interesting back and forth with Oldtimer on this thread related to giving W an O. Oldtimer said that was selfish if W wasn't looking for an O -- I understand that.

1) When I say "it's all about me", what I meant was that I acknowledge that working on my own issues is more important than worrying about W's issues. Does that make sense? That's all I meant.

2) "Until such time" means that I know if I leave now with my personal journey incomplete I'm likely to do more harm than good and likely find myself back in the same place with someone new. Once I achieve a new level of personal growth and acceptance, I will reassess my decisions.

Make sense?

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015