When it's a one-way street...part 4

[2thepoint]

The hose and siding sound like honeydo's to me. Major repairs might also fall under that heading but they take on a little bit more importance. Somewhere there is a balance.

Maybe a compromise where both of you feel valued and heard is to really make a honeydo list, complete with fancy title and lettering and hang it in a prominent location like a calendar so you can easily add to it and cross out items as they get completed.

Then maybe come to an understanding with your H along the lines of....

H, as you or I come across things that need to get done around the house, I thought we could add the items to this fancy honeydo list that I created so we can keep track. If I have time to get some of the things done, I'll cross them off as I complete them. And the same for you. I think it wold be a fun way to keep track of these things and also give us both a sense of accomplishment when things get crossed off the list. What do you think?

Now if he buys into this you have to be careful not to do any score keeping. Because that will backfire and you will also become resentful because I get the sense that you'd just like to get every item crossed off the list, and you would! Right?

Just remember if you at least have the list it makes it difficult for your H to say I didn't know or I forgot. Make it part of your normal household routine. Just try not to get impatient.

Here's an example: My W was harping (yes harping) on me to change out a light bulb in my son's bedroom closet. To me that was an extremely low priority item considering everything else I had to do. The longer it took me to get that task completed, the more pissed she got.

But to my mind, if it was that important, then do it yourself or wait until I got around to doing it. Of course because it was such a low priority item, I forgot about it a bunch of times --- this is where a honeydo list would have been helpful for me as well.

See I am learning right along with you!